My Cowboy Weekend, Part 3

Cowboys like games. Cowboys especially like games with prizes. See, the beer at this shindig wasn’t free. Each bottle or can cost a dollar and that was a donation to Harry’s people and the very good things Harry does for children all around town. So it was win a game and get a beer, lose and there’s the root beer. What games you ask?

Rope-a-Twink

This was a crowd favorite. Thank God there were four of us so I wasn’t the only one getting beaned by guys who did not, in fact, know how to throw a lasso. After about a half-hour, there was a minor mutiny wherein the twinks confiscated the ropes. I’m not naming names but there’s a cowboy out there who knows a little shibari given the knots decorating a certain twink later on.

Designer Sheep

Thankfully, the sheep were very large stuffed animals so that no actual sheep were humiliated during the party. This required a team of two to run back and froth between a pile of clothes and their sheep. Before the buzzer, each sheep had to have on a shirt, pants, hat, and pair of shoes. No sheep could be left alone and there was someone with a rope who would lead your sheep astray if you didn’t hold on tight. Sweartagod, I hurt something laughing at this one.

Keep Your Seat

It worked like this: Guy #1 stands with his back to Guy #2. Ready, Set, Go! Guy #2 has to jump up onto Guy #1′s back with no help from Guy #1 (except for him not falling over). Guy #2 then has to get in position with his arms around Guy #1′s neck and his legs around his waist and stay there for a very loud, everyone-involved-in-the-counting 8 seconds. It is NOT as easy as it might sound and careful consideration should be employed when choosing your Guy #2. Of course, it’s hilarious to see two bears wrestling and cursing at each other too However…

I am the all-time champion!

It didn’t matter who I jumped on, I held my seat for 8 seconds and then some. Thighs. Of. Steel. Jazz could jump rope and I won’t fall off. (We tried it. I didn’t.) I won a lot of beers and very graciously gave them away to my Guy #1s.

There was also a pie-eating contest, rib cook-off, and best costume contest.

Papa Bear won the pie-eating contest and is probably still picking bits of cherry pie filling out of his beard.

The best ribs went to Alec’s dad who somehow managed to get BBQ sauce on the back of his own neck while eating which Alec’s mom then licked off They both blushed ferociously. (I think we inspire naughtiness…)

And best costume went to a friend of Alec’s who, I swear, walked off a dusty Texas movie set and right into the yard. Like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood had a baby. His jeans and boots and gloves had actual dust on them like he’d used them all that morning! He so had the I’m-a-quicker-draw-than-you-any-day stare down. And the swagger. He lit his cigarette from a match he scraped across the bottom of his boot and I nearly fainted. Not that I condone smoking, but holy guacamole. Of course, he wasn’t perfect: He’s straight. Though, seeing him standing next to my Leather Daddy Cowboy (formerly known as Jazz) had me very conscious of the tininess of my shorts… {ahem}

All-in-all it was a heck of a weekend Alec got oodles of gifts to pet and play with for hours on end, and we all got to enjoy a cowboy adventure complete with pony — who even did his part to make sure we had authentic horsey smells by leaving his own manner of gifts in the yard. Even without seeing some big guy get thrown off the back of a 1-ton bull, I think it was a marvelous (mostly) gay rodeo.

Yeehaw!