Arguing with My Husband

We argue. I know it might seem like Jazz and me get along so famously we’re damn near perfect, but nope, we argue. Sometimes silently and sometimes loudly, but it happens every now and then. Our main goal then is to work it out, whatever it is, before bed so there’s no going to sleep angry. So far, we’ve managed to achieve that every time.

Besides, it’s really hard to stay mad at someone you end up cuddling during the night like a teddy bear. And then there’s not being able to sleep without being the teddy bear.

I used to be terrified of arguing with Jazz. I’d back down and agree because I was afraid that, if I didn’t, he’d leave. Then he got mad at me for doing that. And I got mad back because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. He was all fight with me, express your opinion, change my mind. You won’t leave? God no. Fine then, you’re being a jerk, you’re completely wrong, and here’s why… I don’t back down anymore unless I realize I’m the one who’s wrong. The making up is way better when you’re all amped up too ;)

Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of songs coming on the radio about breaking up or trying not to. These make sense to me way more now than they did when I was single. I didn’t like them then. Probably because I’d never been that hurt by a breakup or really had to consider one. Now I totally get every word. Bruno Mars wishing he’d done more and then offering up advice to the one who has the love now? OMG ouch and I definitely don’t want to be him.

But the one by Pink with Nate Ruess? Change my mind, give me any little thing, and I’ll keep sticking around? Oh, yeah. I get that one too. Everyone worries they’re not enough for their partner. I sure do. But every little thing Jazz does, especially the ones he doesn’t seem aware of, that show he picks me over everyone else out there makes me want to stay. He’ll watch a girl or guy walk by, and I’ve got that evil voice asking what they have that I don’t. Then he’ll reach across the table and play with my fingers while he reads through the menu. Those people are mannequins in a window, just scenery, and I’m the one who matters.

So even if we’re yelling at each other or fuming in separate rooms, there will be a little thing that draws us back together and makes us work through the issue.

And then we make up like bunnies ;)

Oops, I broke the car…

Adorable in a lemon yellow blouse with tiny ruffled sleeves, Thorny sits in the driver’s seat of the family car. He is confused and frustrated. Picking up his cell phone again, he discovers it is no longer being charged by the car. With mounting concern, he now calls his husband to confess.

9“I think I broke the car.”

There’s a judgmental sigh. “What’d you do?”

“I didn’t DO anything.”

“Step-by-step from the moment you approached the vehicle.”

Thorny huffs. “Oh don’t get all Law & Order on me. I’ve literally just been sitting here.”

“Then what’s wrong with the car?”

“It won’t start.”

“Try again and let me hear what it does.”

Thorny turns the key even though… “It doesn’t make any noises at all. It’s just like it’s dead.”

Another sigh. “Seriously, honey. What have you been doing in the car?”

“Sitting here, I swear! I’ve just been charging my phone and chatting and I rolled down the window and that’s it.”

“So it was running and then it died? Wait. Wait.” Jazz sighs heavily. “You turned it on but didn’t start it. Am I right?”

“Well, yeah. I just wanted to charge my phone and it was hot in here. I didn’t want to waste gas.”

A bearish grumble. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“Why are you using that tone? I didn’t do anything.”

“Because you drained the battery and now I’ve got to get someone to come give it a jump.”

“Oh. Um. I was talking for maybe…an hour.”

31A very long groan and then some knocking noises. Oh dear. He was either hitting his head on his desk or tapping the phone on it.

“So that drains the battery,” Thorny said, learning this new car lesson.

“Yes. Yes, it does.”

“Sorry.”

“I know.” A not-so-frustrated sigh. “Remember the car care talk? Remember the section on the battery?”

Thorny’s makes a goofy sound and his eyes glaze over. “The things we did to each other on the car that day… Mmm… That was… Yeah…”

Jazz snorts. “Before that part.”

“You mean before we played wicked mechanic and stranded motorist just desperate for a quickie lube?”

“Yes.” He clears his throat. “Before that.”

“Before that was a lot of boring car talk. But I remember you had on a white t-shirt and those jeans that are practically a thread and a prayer.” He pauses to remember them fondly. “Do you still have those?”

“Honey, we’re talking about the car.”

“Fine.” Thorny refocuses on the giant paperweight he’s sitting inside. “So what do I do to jump it? Don’t I need another car?”

“Call Alec. I think he has the cables.”

“Um.” Thorny pauses to bite his lip. “You call him.”

“Why?”

Thorny sighs for having to admit… “I called him before I called you because I wanted to fix it on my own, but all he did was laugh.”

Jazz laughs too now. It’s muffled, like he’s covering the receiver, but he’s definitely laughing.

“Jasper, shut up.”

“I love you. I really do.”

Thorny raspberries him, only to realize he’s just spit all over his phone.

“Okay, if you don’t want Alec, how about your dad? Does he have jumper cables?”

“I don’t know. How come you don’t have them?”

“Because this has never happened to me before. We’ll get some on the way home, though.”

“I won’t do it again!”

“I’m sure you won’t, but now we’ll be prepared.”

Thorny mumbles, “See if I let you lube my quickie ever again…”

More laughter, but Thorny’s smiling too. It is kind of funny. Kinda.

In the end, Jazz calls Alec back and then Alec shows up to “jump Thorny.” Alec thinks that’s hilarious and suddenly he and Thorny are playing at having a secret rendezvous without their husbands knowing. Then Alec gets all blushy and shy since he’s the one who just called Carter his husband and he’s never done that before. Thorny just beams in utter delight while Alec goes back to fixing the car.

34

Anniversary Details

No, not those kind of details ;) I mean to share some details on what else we did between Wednesday and Sunday night since our sudden vacation plans trampled away all my other blogging thoughts.

One thing first… You all know I’m teasing both you and him when I call Jazz my sugar daddy, right? Yes, he’s all bread-winner-y, but I do have ways of contributing financially even while unemployed. We’re not in that kind of relationship even with the age difference and the bear/twink thing. I just like teasing.

Now back to the fun!

So since I knew there might be a vacation coming up, I was perfectly fine with a hold on gift-buying. I didn’t obey the no-gift rule, but I was fine with it ;) Apparently, he changed his mind too! There was chocolate in heart-shaped boxes and we both got some “unmentionables” and there’s a new thing that needs batteries. I’m not sure we’d bother with the whole Valentine’s Day stuff if it weren’t for our own super-sappy holiday landing on it, but it is nice to pretend the whole world is decorating and celebrating love with us :)

We also employed what Alec and Carter call a “no-tech weekend” and that means basically disconnecting from the internet and all its distractions. You can really do it right and ignore your phone too, especially if you’ve got it hooked up to all that social media. We managed not to check email or do anything like that, but we did get on Netflix because we’ve recently become addicted to Supernatural. Jazz was wondering how he ever managed to miss it when it started in 2005, and me, well, I was 13 then and I think it would’ve scared the ever loving crap out of me so I’m guessing Grams steered me well clear of it. But we love it now! We’ve just finished Season 3 (poor Dean! :( ) and will start Season 4 as soon as I finish writing this.

Mostly, we spent our evenings and weekend hanging out together, went out to eat a couple times, and just enjoyed knowing we’ve managed to make it together for two whole years :) I’m proud of that.

OK, OK! I’ll share one naughty detail… This is how Jazz broke the no-gift rule ;)

xdress tartan ensamble

Since I have a similar body type, this is basically how this looks on me. The black bits are velvet and lace ;)

We’re Going Tropical!

bahamas beach hammock

Bahamas, here we come!

Jazz has booked us a vacation in the Bahamas during spring break!

Say it with me: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Seriously, when he told me last night, I nearly made myself hoarse screaming, I was so effing excited. I’m still vibrating. And smiling. And occasionally bouncing around. I barely slept last night — well, there were a lot of great reasons for that. Hello, it was my anniversary! — and I’m writing this real-time because I couldn’t last night and just don’t want to wait anymore. Apologies to my history prof because, nope, so not taking notes right now! Anyway…

We’ve been saving for a while to take a big vacation — and by both of us I mean my sugar daddy’s been saving and I, like, found a quarter once — but I really had only sort of mentioned that I’d love to go somewhere sunny and beachy. We were still batting around ideas, but we’d both agreed on somewhere more tropical than the US. We looked at gay friendly resorts and cruises and that sort of thing too, scoured recommendations, but hadn’t completely settled on anything. Honest to God, I think he picked the absolute best option because OMG this resort is just gorgeous!

excited smilieI already started packing.

We don’t leave until March 23rd…

BUT I’M SO EXCITED!!!!

Happy 2nd Anniversary

All of us absolutely love you guys.

Happy 2nd Anniversary!

(Jazz says “my romance doesn’t need a thing but you” to Thorny a lot, so that’s why I posted this song.)

When We Get Married…

Shortly after the election, Carey asked what Jazz and me would want our wedding to be like when we have one. I lost the draft post I created, but now that I’ve found it again, I thought I’d answer, seeing as our 2nd Anniversary is coming up :)

Yes, it's a little Twilight-inspired. Hush.

Yes, it’s a little Twilight-inspired. Hush.

I want to get married in a church. I’m not that religious, but I do respect Jazz’s family’s Catholicism, their priest is one of my most favorite people, and the inside of their church is just awe-inspiring. So I want to get married in there, BUT… I also want a ton of flowers and plants everywhere so it’s almost like nature came to the wedding too. I suppose I could be talked into the reception looking like that instead, but the ceremony would just have to coordinate.

These are just about perfect!

These are just about perfect!

My outfit… I’m pretty sure I know what that will be and it will be EPIC. Seriously, memorable. Think white tux with tails trailing behind me, sparkling like Elton John in the 70s, a tiara on my head — yep, I said it! — and I will have on a pair of white heels with so much shiny they could make you blind in the right lighting.

I want to look like an ice prince from a fairytale. A winter wedding would be fabulous.

Yes, I know. So gay I poop glitter.

White glitter. There’s a theme.

Anyway…

Jazz can wear whatever he wants. Really, so long as he shows up, I don’t care if he’s dressed like James Bond or Borat at the beach. OK not that much skin can show. If he’d like to be an ice prince too, that’s awesome. Pirate is also acceptable. Hold please because that right there deserves some daydreaming…

Whoo… OK, pirate’s good!

Alec has to wear his dress uniform, btw. I’ve seen it and totally get why Carter gets a little glassy-eyed whenever anyone mentions it. Alec’s Marine friends may also attend in uniform.

Oh crap. Now I want a sword.

So our vows… I’m not sure if I want us to write our own or take over the traditional vows and just work “husband and husband” into them. I mean, I’m not trying to make a statement or anything, but those words mean something about marriage and I want that. I want a marriage, not a gay marriage like there’s something different about it. I won’t be agreeing to “obey” — unless I’m going to share wedding night ideas — but traditional might be the way we go with vows.

cake topper

OK, that is so adorable.

The cake… Not sure there, but I do know there will probably be some smooshing of the cake in somebody’s face. So it has to taste good and have lots of frosting. Sparkly sugar stuff would be really great too. But I don’t care so much if it’s a big cake or a mound of cupcakes. Two grooms on top of something, of course, and one must be blond and fabulous.

Honeymoon. I’m a little stumped on that one. OK, no, I’m cheesy on that one: As long as I’m with Jazz, I don’t care where we are. Our first vacation together was camping. In a tent. With public showers. I figure, if I can do that and love it because we were together, it doesn’t matter where we end up on our honeymoon. A bed, of course, would be nice. Not bedroll.

So, yeah, those are my wedding plans!

Oh, on a serious note: I know we could do all of this any time we wanted to even though it wouldn’t be official in the eyes of our state. We don’t want to. When we get married, we’ll do the whole thing just like anyone else. That’s all there is to it. I look at it as a chance to save up for it a little longer because all those rhinestones and flowers and swords aren’t cheap!

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