March 27, 2013 21 Comments
In addition to feeling better about myself physically, like I talked about Monday, there are things I’ve changed about daily life too. Have to say now that I didn’t do any of it on my own and that’s something I’ve had to learn to allow too.
For a long time, I couldn’t even consider getting a job or doing too much with my days except for just living. Later, I admit, I was more comfortable interacting with people online or at the VA. One anonymous and the other among those who understood me more than most. I read a lot, listened to music, watched TV, worked out, and felt like I was sort of catching up with the real world.
Eventually, chatting with others waiting for appointments at the VA turned into a little more involvement as a volunteer. I still chatted, but also did what I could to make people comfortable, some clerical work, and a little manual labor. I found I liked doing and interacting. Felt like I was working myself back to having a purpose.
After visiting Carter on the job a few times, they put me to work cleaning up and fetching things. Occasionally, they’d let me use a power tool or two. Watching the brothers work together, seeing them all doing something they loved doing, had me discovering a love for reinventing spaces.
Honest to God, a few years ago I would’ve never admitted to giving a damn about different shades of blue or whether drop-ceilings were really all that horrific. Now? Yes, there’s a difference between cornflower and stonewashed denim, and of course that’s a terrible thing to do to a ceiling, what’s wrong with you?
I’m officially working for the family business part-time, volunteering a few hours a couple days a week, and feeling a lot more like I’m a part of the world around me. A lot of that I credit to this amazing family for helping me join up.