I had a different post prepped for today, but a discussion on Google+ last night and this morning about threesomes and open relationships in M/M Romance books has changed my mind. I’m going to talk about that now.
Polyamorous for always or just tonight? It’s nobody’s business but theirs.
Sex with more than one man is just that. You know the saying, men can separate sex and love. It’s why we can say it didn’t mean anything, it was just sex.
Carter and I were in a relatively open relationship from the day we met. I didn’t want to limit him to just me, I was fine with it, and it was fun. He had fun too. The guys we sometimes hooked up with had fun. Yes, there were rules to make sure no one got uncomfortable or hurt feelings.
Now, if you noticed, I said “were” because we recently talked about it and decided we were done with doing that. He doesn’t want to share me anymore. While a part of me can’t imagine why he likes me that much — yes, still got the self-doubt humming away in my head sometimes — I agreed that I’d like it to be just us too. If that changes, we’ll talk again.
One thing I can’t stand, and won’t stand for, is other people imposing on us their opinions on what constitutes a committed or loving relationship. Them finding fault with me and Carter because they wouldn’t ever and “it’s not right”.
The people who say that might as well join the ranks of those who say I shouldn’t love a man at all. It’s the same thing: imposing your beliefs on others.
Get your beliefs off my relationship.
Get them off my love.
And if they think it’s different when they say those things about fictional characters, well, it’s not. The words come back to sting those of us who don’t see anything wrong with inviting another person into our bed. Just like it hurts when the fictional bashing begins or the homophobia screams off the page, because I remember when that happened to me.
Read the book, or don’t. Talk to me, or don’t. But do not diss me for conducting my relationship how I see fit.
And think a second about what you’re really doing when you bitch at an author for daring to write so true to life.