I’m Graduating! A Do-Over

I want to say that, after all your comments yesterday and talking to other friends and family, I’m changing my tune about my upcoming graduation.

See, I forgot what a big accomplishment it actually is. I’ve worked my butt off with classwork for the last few years, but I’ve also really grown as a person. Jazz had me sit down and read back through my old blog posts related to going to school. You know what I saw in those? A pretty awesome person :) Someone who’s trying really hard, making big decisions, and creating a future he can be proud of.

So now I can say “I’M GRADUATING!” :D And do a bouncy dance while I yell it out because I rock and I’m going to keep right on rocking ;)

Yep, I do.

Yep, I do.

“Equality Street” on Shirts? Yes!


Men’s and women’s t-shirts available!

 So the Sunshine Shop over on Cafepress has pissed me off for the last time and I’ve moved over to Zazzle.com where things are far less annoying and it’s much easier to create products and have the site actually work.

For now, I only have a few things available — the main items I noticed people buying from the other store. If you scroll down until you see a blue link (on the right in a full browser window, under the color options), you’ll be able to see items on a variety of product types—like the mugs, infant onesies, or hoodies, etc.).  If you’d like to make any requests for specific items, just leave me a comment.

Just for your info, should you go OMG at the sight of the prices, I only make 20% from each item (like, less than $5 on the shirts). I’m so not going to be raking it in, you know? But it’s fun for me to think of you guys out there with your Sunshines and Equality :) I like that.

Happy shopping!

In similar but not totally related news: I’ve updated the Commissioned Artwork Page with some new artwork. If you’ve had me do anything for you and would like to leave a comment, please feel free to do so :) Thanks!


Old Fears Never Really Go Away

It feels so melodramatic now, but it felt imminent and terrifying at the time. See, on Thursday morning, seconds after we’d arrived at the university, Jazz slipped on the ice and fell. He crashed down so hard that it knocked the breath out of him and made him feel faint and nauseous. And he kept clutching at his chest. So while other people are helping him up and maneuvering us all away from the ice formerly known as a parking lot, I’m freaking out thinking my husband is having a heart attack and he’s going to die.

Yep, so over the top dramatic. I know. But all I could think was Oh my God, what if I’m losing him?

Fast forward a few minutes to him in his office, sitting in his chair and telling me he’s fine and I should run off to take the test I spent the night studying for. “Go on already. I’m fine.” Yeah? Well, I’m not. But I went anyway, took a test I can’t remember one question of, and hurried back to him. “Let’s go to that clinic place,” he says. “I might need an X-ray.” His elbow is scabbed and bruised — even through four layers of clothing! — and it’s throbbing and stiff.

Long story short, Jazz is all banged up but fine. I made him stay home from work when he woke up achy on Friday. He’s filing stuff for worker’s compensation, but it didn’t seem to faze the university much since they didn’t do anything about the parking lot until later Friday afternoon — and we’re guessing they plowed the snow off so the ice was more accessible. I’m still not happy with them.

There was a lot of cuddling going on at our place for the past four days. I’m pretty sure I needed it more because that was just such a shocking realization. The fragility of life, you know? My God. It brought me back to how terrified I was of losing my dad after Mom’s death. All those feelings of abandonment — or the threat of that — came flooding in. Billions of “what if’s” bombarding my brain. I could’ve had my own heart attack!

Just goes to show that what messes you up as a kid never really goes away, you just get better at coping with it all. I didn’t panic, but I forgot everything about how not to, you know? I think it’s the meds that prevented that from actually happening. I’m working it out for myself and trying to embrace today and now instead of worrying about things I can’t control.

I’m really glad I let Friday’s post go ahead instead of talking about this then because all those fabulous book recommendations and mini discussions were a great distraction :) Thanks, you guys!

That's his FEET, Mary.

That’s his FEET, Mary.

Silent Auction for LGBT Charities…The Highest Bidder


The highest bidder was Maggie with $150 to Out Youth!!

Out Youth is a nonprofit organization that supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth, ages 12 to 19 in Austin and Central Texas. They offer counseling, educational programs, social activities and community outreach.

Thank you so much to Maggie and everyone who bid, especially to those ineligible to bid who donated anyway. You guys are all awesome!

If you’re still interested in donating, here are the organizations we support:

LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland
Wounded Warrior Project
Freedom to Marry
The Trevor Project
No H8 Campaign
Equality Ohio
You Will Rise Project

Talking About the Realities of Alcoholism

On my mother’s recommendation, I recently read INFAMOUS by Suzanne Brockmann. Aside from being a very good book in general, it has a hero who’s former Army, spent time being homeless, has PTSD, and is a recovering alcoholic. The heroine makes it through to acceptance of all of those flaws…except the alcoholism.

By the way, this is going to have spoilers for those of you who haven’t but want to read this book.

The reason the heroine can’t accept the hero’s alcoholism goes back to her mother’s struggles with the same. Her mother would be sober for months or years before inexplicably drinking again. There was neglect and fear for her as the child of a single parent who couldn’t parent. To be with a man who could fall of the wagon at any moment seemed insane to her, utterly unacceptable.

It takes a lot of conversations for her to see that there are no guarantees in life. Just like he could drink again, she could get cancer. There’s a struggle, a need for help, a potential devastation. Do you walk away?

Of course not.

This was the first time I’ve seen alcoholism addressed like this. I know people (even alcoholics) talk about being in recovery like that’s it, you’re cured. But that’s not it at all. There is no cure. Like with cancer, I’m in remission right now. It might last the rest of my life. It might not.

I’ve learned to take life one moment at a time. Yes, I plan for the future, but I focus on now. I get myself through minutes or days, depending on what I’m going through.

It was nice to see a book from a popular author take readers into this place so honestly. It’s a story that ends with you knowing their lives won’t be easy, like real lives aren’t, but you’ll root for them and know they’ll make it. That’s a satisfying read.

Like last week, if you’d like to talk about alcoholism, I’m around.

Remember, today’s the last day to enter a bid in the silent auction for the LGBT charity of your choice.