Rally Round Me & I Fight On

Yesterday’s comments, knowing you’re all out there and ready to rally around me, makes me feel like I can do anything. I can talk about the tough stuff, defend myself, and learn so much because I have support from all of you to read what I write here. I’ve said before that if blog even if no one noticed, but I know that’s not true. I blog so we can chat. It doesn’t even matter that it’s words on a screen, all this means the world to me.

And now I can’t get this song out of my head. I’m not even sure I want to :) I might have to paint what I see, too.

Happy Mother’s Day!

normanrockwellthanksgivingpieI just want to let you know
You mean the world to me
Only a heart as dear as yours
Would give so unselfishly

The many things you’ve done
All the times you were there
Help me know deep down inside
How much you really care

Even though I might not say
I appreciate all you do
Richly blessed is how I feel
Having a grandmother just like you

And to all the moms out there who care for a child, regardless of your title or theirs, I wish you a day of peace and joy and little treats so you know, without a doubt, you are wholly loved for your devotion.

<3

I’m Graduating! A Do-Over

I want to say that, after all your comments yesterday and talking to other friends and family, I’m changing my tune about my upcoming graduation.

See, I forgot what a big accomplishment it actually is. I’ve worked my butt off with classwork for the last few years, but I’ve also really grown as a person. Jazz had me sit down and read back through my old blog posts related to going to school. You know what I saw in those? A pretty awesome person :) Someone who’s trying really hard, making big decisions, and creating a future he can be proud of.

So now I can say “I’M GRADUATING!” :D And do a bouncy dance while I yell it out because I rock and I’m going to keep right on rocking ;)

Yep, I do.

Yep, I do.

“Equality Street” on Shirts? Yes!

 

Men’s and women’s t-shirts available!

 So the Sunshine Shop over on Cafepress has pissed me off for the last time and I’ve moved over to Zazzle.com where things are far less annoying and it’s much easier to create products and have the site actually work.

For now, I only have a few things available — the main items I noticed people buying from the other store. If you scroll down until you see a blue link (on the right in a full browser window, under the color options), you’ll be able to see items on a variety of product types—like the mugs, infant onesies, or hoodies, etc.).  If you’d like to make any requests for specific items, just leave me a comment.

Just for your info, should you go OMG at the sight of the prices, I only make 20% from each item (like, less than $5 on the shirts). I’m so not going to be raking it in, you know? But it’s fun for me to think of you guys out there with your Sunshines and Equality :) I like that.

Happy shopping!


In similar but not totally related news: I’ve updated the Commissioned Artwork Page with some new artwork. If you’ve had me do anything for you and would like to leave a comment, please feel free to do so :) Thanks!

 

Old Fears Never Really Go Away

It feels so melodramatic now, but it felt imminent and terrifying at the time. See, on Thursday morning, seconds after we’d arrived at the university, Jazz slipped on the ice and fell. He crashed down so hard that it knocked the breath out of him and made him feel faint and nauseous. And he kept clutching at his chest. So while other people are helping him up and maneuvering us all away from the ice formerly known as a parking lot, I’m freaking out thinking my husband is having a heart attack and he’s going to die.

Yep, so over the top dramatic. I know. But all I could think was Oh my God, what if I’m losing him?

Fast forward a few minutes to him in his office, sitting in his chair and telling me he’s fine and I should run off to take the test I spent the night studying for. “Go on already. I’m fine.” Yeah? Well, I’m not. But I went anyway, took a test I can’t remember one question of, and hurried back to him. “Let’s go to that clinic place,” he says. “I might need an X-ray.” His elbow is scabbed and bruised — even through four layers of clothing! — and it’s throbbing and stiff.

Long story short, Jazz is all banged up but fine. I made him stay home from work when he woke up achy on Friday. He’s filing stuff for worker’s compensation, but it didn’t seem to faze the university much since they didn’t do anything about the parking lot until later Friday afternoon — and we’re guessing they plowed the snow off so the ice was more accessible. I’m still not happy with them.

There was a lot of cuddling going on at our place for the past four days. I’m pretty sure I needed it more because that was just such a shocking realization. The fragility of life, you know? My God. It brought me back to how terrified I was of losing my dad after Mom’s death. All those feelings of abandonment — or the threat of that — came flooding in. Billions of “what if’s” bombarding my brain. I could’ve had my own heart attack!

Just goes to show that what messes you up as a kid never really goes away, you just get better at coping with it all. I didn’t panic, but I forgot everything about how not to, you know? I think it’s the meds that prevented that from actually happening. I’m working it out for myself and trying to embrace today and now instead of worrying about things I can’t control.

I’m really glad I let Friday’s post go ahead instead of talking about this then because all those fabulous book recommendations and mini discussions were a great distraction :) Thanks, you guys!

That's his FEET, Mary.

That’s his FEET, Mary.